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Um, hi.

It's been a while since I've written.  Truthfully, it's been a while since I've written anything--a while for me, anyway.  There was this annual exam, you see, that turned into a rather sudden hysterectomy, which completely cured the problem and flattened me for three weeks, made off with all my energy and the better part of my brain for even longer.  In fact, they're not back yet, after five weeks and change.

"Complete recovery in 3 weeks," the man said.  "Ha!" I say.  Also, "Thank you for the robots.  This could have been so much worse."

Anyway, Ellen and I took eegatland (in town for BEA and early promotion on Rose Under Fire, which I have an ARC of, nyah, nyah, nyah) to see Nikolai and the Others at Lincoln Center last night.  It was wonderful and thoughtful and I had a lot to say about it (last night, anyway), so I thought I'd attempt a review. I have to get back on the horse sometime, don't I?  Even if I can't quite say what I mean and flounder a bit?

Right.  Here goes.

Richard Nelson has written a lot of plays, none of which I've seen but his musical of James Joyce's The Dead, which I recall as being rather wonderful, in a sad, elegiac, atmospheric, deeply human way.  No catchy tunes, not a lot of plot, but lots of feelings, feelingly expressed.  Which pretty well describes Nikolai and the Others--except for not being a musical. Both are about longing and nostalgia and the fear of death.  Both build their effects slowly, word by word, allowing the characters all the space they need to come alive for us--and frequently, for each other.  But there the similarities cease. The Dead is peopled largely by characters who are afraid to show what they feel or say what they think. Nikolai is peopled by characters who talk about their feelings and opinions All The Time.  Sometimes they actually even tell the truth.

It's 1948.  Nikolai Nabokov (Vladimir's cousin) has been invited to a weekend in the Berkshire home of Lucia Davidova, who knows just about everybody who is anybody among the Russian artists living in America.  She's George Balanchine's BFF, and good friend to Igor Stravinsky and at least two of his wives, also their past and current husbands and fiances and nieces, not to mention assistants, adjutants, and a conductor (Serge Koussevitsky). She invites them all to a house party to honor the aged and ailing designer Sergey Sudeikin on the occasion of his name day. The house party is Nelson's contrivance, and a very useful one, bringing all the characters into close contact over the 24 hours the play covers, eating and drinking, talking, joking, annoying, advising, helping, and hurting each other.  Not a whole lot actually happens.  There's a dinner, a rehearsal of Stravinsky and Balanchine's Orpheus (with real dancers, who also act), a brief fling (Balanchine could not resist a young dancer to save his life), a series of favors asked and granted, a series of betrayals, personal and institutional, a health crisis.  Nothing is decided; nothing is resolved.  And yet--for me, at least--it was fully satisfying, a glimpse of how great artists are both human and inhuman in the way they approach their lives:  at once needy and ruthless, worldly and gullible, steeped in emotion and oddly cold, quiveringly sensitive and utterly clueless.

Nikolai may or may not be a true picture of the artistic Russian community in the early days of the Cold War, but it certainly feels real.  It made us laugh and sniff a little and stand around in the warm summer night by the Lincoln Center fountain, talking about art and how, for some people, it's what's left when everything else has been stripped away, and why it's needed now and forever, however it is defined.  Which is pretty much my definition of a good night at the theater.

And that's all I got.  I meant to talk about the direction (by David Cromer, who directed the Our Town I loved so much) and the perfectly post-war costumes and the lovely, lived-in set, Michael Ceveris's perfectly gyroscopic Balanchine, lordly, sleek, focussed, and Blair Brown's delightful, delighted, worried, charming Vera Stravinsky.  But I'm out of words, and have worked on this long enough.  Reading it over, I'm not sure it quite makes sense.  It certainly doesn't convey the excitement and enchantment I felt, or why.  But it's the best I can do right now.  Here's hoping next week will be better.  I am So Very Behind.



( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:09 am (UTC)
Thank you, sweetie.
Jun. 2nd, 2013 06:48 pm (UTC)
*gentle hugs*
Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:10 am (UTC)
*feels hugged* And really, much better now. I can do laundry and cook and everything. Except write fiction. Dammit.
Jun. 2nd, 2013 06:50 pm (UTC)
Glad you are okay!
Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:10 am (UTC)
Thank you, dear!
Jun. 2nd, 2013 07:07 pm (UTC)
For what it's worth, I had a hysterectomy in December (ovarian cancer). The rule of thumb the nurses told me was that for each hour I was in surgery allow about a month of physical recovery. So I was in surgery for six hours, and six months later I'm just starting to feel like myself again.

I hope you give yourself permission to take whatever time your body needs, and let yourself rest without too much impatience.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:15 am (UTC)
I'm glad somebody told you SOMETHING. My medical team was kind and brisk and largely uninformative, despite Ellen's many and persistent questions. Tell you the truth, I don't know how long I was in surgery--maybe Ellen will remember. Longer than an hour, anyway. I'm resigned to being sore and I know not howish for another couple of months. But I do hope my brain comes back, at least enough to get my syllabus written SOON, since class starts in 2 weeks.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 02:22 am (UTC)
My medical team told me a great many things, some of which I didn't really want to know (like, if I'd waited another two weeks to go see my doctor it would have been too late and I'd have been dead by April). This is in part because I work for the medical group which provided most of my care and all of my doctors. Although I work in philanthropy, not medicine, many of my doctors are people with whom I serve on committees, so there's some breach of whatever the medical equivalent of a fourth wall might be.

For mental recovery, it helps to factor in how long you were under anaesthesia, as well as how long you were on pain medication afterwards (and which ones). I pretty much don't remember January and probably never will, although there are moments from my hospital stay which are crystal clear. In the hospital (9 days) I had a morphine drip, but later it was all vicodin, which seems to turn my brain into mush.

I keep remembering reading that after giving birth women forget the details of the unpleasantness, and wonder if there is some similar mechanism at play in healing. I can't afford to revisit the pain so my memory shuts it out, but I remember in detail my brother and housemate laughing together, and my orthopedist coming to see me several times and rubbing my feet.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 03:58 am (UTC)
That's a tolerably terrifying story. I was much luckier, in that mine was caught very, very early and the procedure was (relatively) simple and straightforward. I spent one night in the hospital, then got sent home. I remember pretty much everything, including the lovely night nurse Evie, to whom I gave a FREEDOM MAZE postcard, with my thanks scrawled on it. But the thinking? Not so much.

Jun. 2nd, 2013 11:16 pm (UTC)
So glad to hear all is well. Re the stolen brain: A friend of mine who has had multiple surgeries says that her brain has a hard time functioning for several weeks afterwards as a result of the anaesthesia and/or the surgery. See the mention of Postoperative Cognitive Dysfunction (POCD) in this article.

Glad the problem is resolved.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:18 am (UTC)
Interesting reading. Thank you. I remember having my wisdom teeth out under general, oh, more than thirty years ago now, and waking up in floods of tears. Not being a weeper, in the general scheme of things, I was horribly embarrassed. I don't think anybody told me this was A Thing with general anaesthetic, but then, they might have and I didn't register it. I was, after all, disoriented.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 04:58 am (UTC)
I think it's an effect that's only recently been acknowledged. The fact that not everyone experiences it (lucky you), means that many people discount it as malingering or imagined. Very frustrating! My friend says it's been incredibly validating to talk to other people who have experiences the same effect.

Btw, I just finished The Freedom Maze which was superb! I love that Sophie retains her physical changes even though the passage of time was different. A wonderful read.
Jun. 2nd, 2013 11:50 pm (UTC)
Good heavens! (Not the review, the other news.) So good to hear you're improving, if slowly. May the brain come back online to the fullest extent very soon now.

Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:19 am (UTC)
Thank you, dear. I'll miss seeing you at Readercon (if you're coming), I'm afraid. Ellen and I are teaching in Virginia this summer, and it's a long way from Roanoke to Burlington, especially since our teaching schedules preclude long weekends.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 01:25 am (UTC)
I am hoping to get to Readercon because I am hoping by then it will be a much shorter drive. Roanoke is about to become a much longer one. The good news, of course, is that NYC is (almost) a LIRR ride away. Miss E finishes school this week and while there is still much to be done to the VA house to get it on the market, we're headed to LI. (And then, I'll have to come back to supervise the last move and final arrangements, but NY will become 'home.')
Jun. 3rd, 2013 03:59 am (UTC)
YAY! That's wonderful news. Welcome to NY, dear. I hope you can come into town and visit us.
Jun. 3rd, 2013 12:32 pm (UTC)
Great to see you posting again!
Jun. 3rd, 2013 02:20 pm (UTC)
*hugs* So glad I got to at least hug you briefly at WisCon. Hope the road to Becoming Delia Again is smooth. <3
Jun. 3rd, 2013 04:15 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry to hear about the hysterectomy, but I am SO glad that it cured the problem. Please take really good, gentle care of yourself!
Jun. 4th, 2013 05:08 am (UTC)
Wishing you very very well as you continue recovering. I'm so glad they caught it early and the procedure went well.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )

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